To Forgive

Definition:

1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.

2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).

3. to grant pardon to (a person).

4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.

5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

6. to pardon an offense or an offender.

What a  LOADED word.  It can be easy to understand what this word means, but it is an entirely different ball game when attempting to actually put that word into action in your own life.  I heard that forgiving is done more so for the person who was wronged and who is doing the forgiving than for the person being forgiven.  I agree completely.

I have been in a situation that has me yearning, longing, desperately needing to forgive; it would give me so much freedom and peace of mind and peace in my heart.  However, I am finding it nearly impossible to forgive.  This probem, this person, has been a thorn in my side for more than a year and is only getting worse.  I can remember being pregnant at one of my last Bible studies in Boston, asking my friends how to forgive, how God asks us to forgive, how to make this situation less of a burden.  I thought I found some answers.  Well, now as I watch my seven and a half month old crawling around the living room, I am still burdened with the daunting task of forgiving somebody who has proven to be an enemy of sorts.  And it breaks my heart. 

If only I could simply pardon her wrongdoings; if only I could cease to feel this resentment.

I pray that this work in progress will actually have an end.  For her sake.  For my sanity.